Jim is taking private lessons from a hitting coach at 35 bucks per half hour. Week after week he is improving and his coach brags on his progress. His parents can't wait until the season starts and they can watch their little slugger hit a homer! First game of the season, Jim is up to bat... the parents hold their breath and Jim swings…just like he used to!
Yes, it was just like before the lessons. They watch each pitch in disbelief as they see their little slugger look like he had never taken a lesson.
It is so difficult to take the game from the comfort of a lesson to real life, pressure situations. Parents often find themselves reacting like Jim. They are excited about the great new strategies they learn in a class or from a book and they can’t wait to try them. Then the kid throws a curve ball. The parent is caught up in the pressure of the moment and reverts right back to their old ways of doing things. This is a normal, human thing to do.
So how can we get our skills from the classroom or the book to real life? Even when our kids throw us their finest curve ball? Here are some thoughts:
1) Continue to learn, observe and practice in situations that are comfortable. Watch other parents struggle and think about what skill might be used. Read and reread the books and articles. Go back over the notes from a class you have taken.
2) Practice real life scenarios with a spouse or friend that knows how your child might respond.
3) Don't get discouraged when you strike out. It takes a while for skills to evolve from practice to real life.
4) When you strike out, think about what went wrong. Use it as a learning experience and ask yourself you could have done differently or what other skill you could have used.
5) Consider it a challenge. Try again. We know it won't be long until there will be a new opportunity.
Just like the batter, the parent should be trying to improve their "batting average," that is, get better at parenting skills. There's never been a major league batter who batted one thousand and there's never been a parent who has parented a thousand either. The goal is to improve your average, be the best you can!
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