I love to shake on the salt. Usually, I don’t even need to taste a dish before I add salt. But even I have a limit. Have you ever had food with way too much salt? Or maybe, not enough? Both scenarios have the same effect: a nasty taste. It just doesn’t taste good! It's amazing how just the right amount of something can make it taste great.
Our mixture of parenting tools can work the same way. For example, if I use the phrase, “Not up for arguing right now,” or “This one is non-negotiable,” and repeat this phrase when my child tries to continue to engage me, it can be a very effective tool in stopping the behavior. My child will eventually realize they are not getting their way on this one and my short-term goal is accomplished. Conversely, If overused, this strategy can create a frustrated and angry child that does not feel heard or valued. My long-term goal of wanting a child who knows the art of expressing their feelings, and the value of being able to share effectively may not come to fruition. At the same time, if a child gets to carry on with ineffective and/or disrespectful arguments, my lack of parenting will leave a nasty taste.
This can be said of pretty much all parenting tools. Catchy sayings/phrases, time outs, talking things over and consequences, when overused, can become as repugnant as doing nothing at all. Having a set of spicy tools we can use when the recipe calls for it, can help us create a perfect learning experience, just like the quintessential amount of spice can create a delicacy.